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Your mindset plays a vital role in your menopause experience. Menopause is billed in general as a negative experience and going into it with this mindset can actually amplify your symptoms and make them worse!

This post outlines some tips on reframing your mindset for a more positive experience.

It’s important to recognise negativity, whatever the cause and have some strategies in place to deal with it. Living with daily physical and mental menopause symptoms is bound to get you down at times. You’re entitled to feel sorry for yourself occasionally. However, it’s important not to let that become your default to the point where you find yourself feeling negative all the time, About everything. And everyone. Bad times?

There are loads of reasons why you may be feeling a bit negative about life in general.……


People rarely get things right the first time or are perfect at anything without practice. When you’re experiencing symptoms such as brain fog or not sleeping well, it affects your ability to focus and concentrate and this can make doing things you’d usually be good at, difficult.

If you have set yourself some goals, started a new hobby or want to apply for that promotion at work, don’t give up because it’s hard or doesn’t work out straight away. See it as a skill you need to practice at and keep plugging away. It’s also a bit of a cliché but we do learn from our mistakes. This is where we learn what not to do and sometimes that can be more valuable than anything else!


Fear has a real purpose in life and isn’t a bad thing. It’s an important part of keeping you safe because it serves as a basic survival mechanism that signals your body to respond to danger with a fight or flight response. The problem is when there’s no end to the threat. This can lead to living in constant fear which is not healthy for you. You can become frozen, and stuck in terms of moving forward. Sometimes you have to just move through the fear and get on with things anyway. When you do this, even if you’re afraid, you often end up finding out that there really wasn’t any reason to be fearful in the first place. Some menopause symptoms can affect your general perception of yourself which can affect your self-esteem and self-confidence too. Challenge your own perceptions of yourself and see what happens.

Disability and illness

If you have a disability or illness, you may well have some genuine limits to what you can and can’t do. However, it’s important to make sure that you’re not setting limitations that are false ones. Often, you’ll find that you can do far more than you thought you could. Menopause symptoms can also cause embarrassment and lead to you becoming isolated because it’s easier to just stay at home.

Depression & other mental illnesses

Depression, anxiety, and other mental illnesses can cause many issues. These conditions can be really disabling. People experiencing depression don’t often have the capability to “pull themselves together” or think positively. If you think you’re struggling with something beyond just having a bad few days or are recognising signs such as not engaging with your usual activities, not looking after yourself in general such as personal hygiene or diet, struggling to deal with things you would normally find manageable, you should seek help from professionals such as your GP, a counsellor or refer to your local therapy service. There’s nothing wrong with needing to take medication or have therapy to help you learn how to cope with depression or other conditions. By getting the help you need, you can go on to lead a healthy and productive life. Depression is not a common symptom of menopause. It can develop though when you’re living with lots of symptoms that you’re not managing very well.  So don’t chalk it up as normal and think you have to just suffer it.

Low self-esteem

When you devalue yourself, you set limits that don’t need to exist. If you want to eliminate negativity, this is one of the most crucial changes you need to make. When you’re not nice to yourself, you damage your ability to accomplish the things you want to do. By building a positive sense of self, you view things, in general, more positively. Simple ways to try and improve your self-esteem include being kinder to yourself. Avoid comparing yourself to others and their experiences. Say positive things to yourself. If you find yourself putting yourself down, it can be helpful to ask “Would I talk to or think about a friend this way”? Look after yourself, Try to get enough sleep, try to do some physical activity and spend time outdoors. Accept compliments and write a list of things you actually like about yourself.

In general, it’s helpful to accept that life isn’t perfect and you’re not perfect. And that’s ok. You can take things a step further if you want to be really proactive in slaying any negativity by getting yourself back on track. You can do this by thinking about all the things you want to work towards and achieve and start to set some goals.

Menopause is a transition into a new phase of your life. Choose to view this as a positive thing. Start by thinking way back…

🤔 When were you most sure of who you were?

👀  When did you have a clear vision of your goals and plans?

🚫 Why did you never achieve those things. Was it people telling you or did you get in your own way? Are you still holding onto this? Is it what’s stopping you?

If so, you need to start making changes. It probably won’t be easy but you need to get out of that comfort zone where it’s easy to not move forward because you’ve decided you can’t or you’re not good enough. Stop the excuses and start doing!

If you want some help with this. This is absolutely my jam! Please get in touch for a chat about how I can guide you with this.

Pinnable graphic post cultivate a positive mindset

Hi, I'm Kerry. I'm a menopause coach for women who want to take control of their menopause and do it their way.


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