How long will this take to read? 3 minutes

Valentine’s day is here and whether you’re in a couple of not, there’s no reason why you should skip it. It’s the ideal time to show yourself a bit of love and be your own valentine.

This is my guide to being your own valentine.

Us women tend to treat any kind of self-care time as a luxury so it’s the first thing to cancel from our diaries if something we perceive as more important comes up. If this sounds familiar, you need to change your self-care mindset. If you’ve ever been on a plane, think about when the crew give the safety briefings. When they tell you about the oxygen masks, they always tell you to make sure you put your own mask on first before helping anyone else. This is for good reason. If you’re able to offer help in an emergency, you could compromise this if you don’t take those couple of minutes first to make sure your mask is on and you’re able to help without passing out. Same goes for day to day life. If your health and wellbeing is an absolute shit show, how will you be able to do anything to help anyone else? Try to reframe how you think of self-care and see it as a priority and essential to your ability to do all of your usual day to day activities and responsibilities. Now, let’s look at some ways you can be your own valentine……

Take yourself on a valentine’s date 💁‍♀️

Set aside some time to go and do something, whether it’s going out for something to eat, going to museum you like or having a nice walk and a picnic; put it in your diary and look forward to it. And the number 1 rule about your date is: DON’T CANCEL IT UNLESS YOU ABSOLUTELY HAVE TO! You wouldn’t cancel on your friend or partner unless you absolutely had to so don’t sabotage your time to be your own valentine!

Keep cool 🥵

Hot flushes are a really common symptom. If you can find ways to improve your physical comfort, this will help them be more tolerable. One of the key things you can look at is your wardrobe. Breathable fabrics such as cotton are ideal as they allow heat to disperse through your clothes rather than staying trapped in between the fabric and your body which can make you feel even hotter. Treat yourself to a shopping trip to buy some clothes that will help you feel more comfortable. When you go clothes shopping, think about what you’re wearing. It’s a good idea to wear something neutral on the bottom and top so you can try tops and bottoms on and get a good idea of what they look like. Stick to clothes that are easy to get on or off such as leggings and a loose top with no buttons. Slip on shoes are also ideal. There’s nothing worse than trying clothes on as it causes you to feel hot and sweaty. Add in a hot flush or 2 and it becomes even more of an unpleasant experience.

Make connections 👭

Human connection is so important. Reach out to friends or family and spend time together. Whether it’s one to one or arranging a bigger get together, spending time with people you love and care about is vital for your mental and physical health. Do something fun like a quiz or game night or ask people to bring a dish and have a pot luck dinner party.

Get active 💃

Being physically active is a great way to relieve stress, keep you fit and help you sleep better. It doesn’t have to be something you dread though such as slogging your guts out at the gym. Find something fun to do. Being active is often much more pleasant as part of a group. Think about getting together a group of friends for a class or an activity. There are tons available from burlesque to bowling or trampolining to circus skills. Or you could book a dance class with your partner.

DIY valentine spa day 🧖‍♀️

If you prefer some alone time, why not have a little spa day at home. Don’t underestimate the power of a shower or bath with a lovely full body scrub followed by some nice body cream. A face scrub, mask and moisturise all while listening to music or binge watching a fave tv show with your beverage of choice and some chocolate.

Will you be your own valentine this year. If so, let me know in the comments what you’re doing.
If you struggle with self-care and need support, please don’t hesitate to reach out and contact me here to see how I might be able to help.

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Hi, I'm Kerry. I'm a menopause coach for women who want to take control of their menopause and do it their way.


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